What's Going On?

When tell me please in life do we get to the place where we have it all put together?
I have lived well over a half a century and when I was in my 20's I thought that where I am now that I would have it all put together along with having more time. More positive respective of who I am and defiantly since I became a Christian that I wouldn't be so wishy washy at times...does that ever happen or is it my personality??

Why do I try to analyze EVERYTHING and thinking wow what if...I'm done, as of today I am going to go forward..take care of the moment...pray for discernment...ask only for God's guidance and of those that are close to me that I know have a caring heart for me and not just someone telling me what they think....trust that is what it takes..trust not only in the Lord but trust those around you to believe...that they really care..and those that know me and love me for what I am and not for what they think that I should be...to correct me if I am wrong and still be there for me...we can get in such a habit at looking at everyone else's faults that we totally fail to see our own...I don't want to be there....like I said in my last post, I want to remember what a lost soul I was when God came and took me in His arms and said "Evy come unto me and I will give you rest"