Started, Deleted..

I want to post...I want to share...but for some reason I am afraid to put myself out here....
My heart is heavy tonight.
I have had a great day so I don't know what is on my heart for sure.
Sometimes the uncertainty and a lot going on.
Heavy stuff.
Two granddaughters graduating College this spring..one with her master's Where did it all go??

I think about how fast it all goes and where does that leave me? What door is opening for me to enter and which ones are shutting??? I want to cry...I want to laugh...I want to enjoy...I want to give...I want to take...

Tonight I have been thinking about my life since I have surrendered it to Christ...I had someone ask me today if I would share my testimony at her church...I have thought a lot about that, I have a lot to say..God has done wonders in my life to give Him all the Glory, the praise...the THANKS...but it scares me...I did not say yes...did not really know if she was serious....it is something I have always had in the back of my mind..maybe God wants me to lay it out there...don't know and not sure  I am a public  speaker....I need to pray...God does not call the qualified He qualifies the called....

I want to be
led by the Spirit.
to be identified with Jesus.
 in fellowship with the Spirit.
indwelt with the Holy Spirit.
the mind of the Spirit.
have God in me.