Focused!!

The New Year, and New Year's eve somehow always seem to be a time of reflecting whether on the year past or maybe on years past but somehow always seems to bring about something. Thoughts of things we would like to change, a lot of times it might be weight, eating better, excising, being kinder, more giving of self and maybe money to others of less then what we may have ( and there are alot of them)...This year I did not make a resolution, most of time it always tends to be broken anyway what I want to do every day is to stay focused...FOCUSED....as you can see in the pictures above when things are not in focus...they can become very blurry, very blurry, sometimes so bad we can't make out exactly what they are suppose to be....what we are suppose to be....

That can be very scary...so I want to stay totally focused each and every day, every hour....first I want to stay focused on Christ....what He has done for me, and it is more then I will ever know in this lifetime but just from what I do know He needs to have all my attention...all my praise....and all of my THANKS...because without Him I am nothing....nothing....my person I want to focus on is my hubby, Everett, he too has given me his best...he is the greatest...he is loved by a lot of people...his family...he loves them...he is kind...he is giving..he is loving...he is gentle...he is funny..so funny...still after 48 years of marriage he still makes me laugh....when I am down...he can cheer me up...when I think I am unworthy ( and I am) he makes me feel worthy, when I run myself down he builds me up...he cleans for me, he washes our clothes...I want something made, he makes it, I want an outlet put in he puts it in...he moves lights, he rocks!!!! Oh how I thank God for Him....

Then comes our children...how God has blessed Everett and I with these 3 wonderful gifts from above...each one of them a part of us....how they have become 3 of the most wonderful adults I know and there choices of spouses...I love each one as my own...and my grandchildren...and great granddaughters...and my 2 grandsons in law....love each one of them again as my own...I am overflowing...as you can see...I am feeling so many emotions..of thankfulness to my Father in Heaven for what He has given me....That is why I want to stay focused...never taking anything for granted or thinking that I am worthy when it is only because of Him that  I have all these blessings...not of myself...I am not deserving....but by GRACE, by His mercy and His LOVE...
Focused.....Jesus...Hubby....Family...My church family...my Rama family...doing my work for HIM.

Sticks and Stones

Sticks and Stones may break our bones but words will never hurt me...is a saying I never could understand where it came from....our bruises and cuts on our outside eventually heal, but the condemning, ugly, hurtful, words aimed toward us whether we have them coming or not hurt. They can be replayed and replayed in our heads and sometimes they can scar us for life.

I remember in High School I had a friend that was not very pretty. Her Mother had told her over and over how ugly she was. I couldn't imagine that, especially that a Mother would tell her that.

I am guilty words can fly out of my mouth when I get angry or someone says something accusing to me faster then the speed of light and the minute they come out I wish I could take them back but we can't. Most of the time we aim them at the ones we love the most. So many times my children and my husband would be at that end. And I am so sorry...so very sorry...so very sorry....

Since I have surrendered my life to Christ this has been a terrific struggle for me. I had a friend tell my a number of years ago that I had an anger problem and I did. I wanted to blame it on feelings of guilt that I carried...of the bad choices I had made it life..of low self esteem...maybe envy of others around me...jealously but I had no one to blame but self...my ugly self, my sinful nature, my flesh..Then one day a light came on and I realized that Jesus died on that cross for my sins...He took all my GUILT..my sick sinful deeds, all my sinful thoughts, my rotten attitude, my ungrateful heart, on and on, to the CROSS..he took it all and died for me..and it is when we die to self...that is when we put others first...their feelings...their needs and not ours...am I there yet totally NO way...but I am on the right path now, knowing that it is only through HIM that I can be anything..and not of myself...to live is to die..daily...this I know..but it can be so hard and I fail so many times...but my hearts desire is to live in His strength not my own because He promises NEVER to leave us or forsake us...and no one is who there are by accident but we all are a part of His great plan. It is a life long battle our weakness, our imperfection..and we won't arrive until that day...but each day should bring us closer as we grow in the Lord.

No one will love me more then Jesus did when He died on that cross....

Everett leaves me a note everyday on the blackboard in the kitchen and today's note is what inspired this blog this morning it read

Have you ever looked for yourself and if you did what did you find?

What we think.. what we believe is right.....

We decorate...in my case Annie decorated for me and did a terrific job...we stress, we go to dinners,
we go to church programs, we go to school programs, and we stress...we cook and some bake tons of goodies....that are really not that good for us and every year we say we are go to cut something out and make it simpler, calmer, not spend so much money...but oh if we don't will they love us..will they think we are cheap...don't we want to give as Christ gave....

I read a book Advent Conspiracy...my granddaughter Abby just blogged about it...

Do we need one more sweater, one more tie, one more candle....on and on...that in a week from Christmas we won't even remember...the gifts are for the moment...the wonder of what is in that package under the tree...is it really about the gift so much as the anticipation??? The excitement.. the sleepiness on Christmas eve...the beauty of the lights...all the decorations....what about time...memories...families are going by the wayside...so sad....I think of different ones this year that were married for a long time...divorced...children will not wake up this Christmas with mom and dad both there..one will be here and one will be there...how sad....

For years I have thought why and yet I get caught up in it just like the next one....we all have everything we need...we live in a world of storage sheds....thrift stores...people store and gather up more stuff then my grandparents ever thought of having to give away...( which is good)  but just saying we all have so much.

There are so many in the world without...somehow we can push that out of our minds and go on...I am guilty....I want to live the next four weeks like Abby said...Advent...preparing...we need to prepare every day...our hearts, our lives...for Christ's return...I ask myself what have I done today to prepare for that day....my house is ready for Christmas now I must asked myself is my heart??

For unto us this day in the City of David a Savior is born...and the Word tells us He will return again..

I'd rather eat caramels

Some thoughts going around in my head tonight. I feel like my house needs some TLC. Like I need to get things that I haven't used forever and pack them up and give them away or throw them out.
But I'd rather eat caramels.

I need so badly to go through all of my Christmas decorations. But I'd rather eat caramels.

I want to sleep, I want to eat, I want to exercise....but I'd rather eat caramels....

I am getting addicted to Little House on The Prairie....my sister is letting me watch her whole set that she got from the very first one until the last one...every evening I watch one or two...

I read a very good book....Not a Fan...by kyle idleman....good book...are you a fan of Jesus or are you a follower?? Good question....I know what I want to be and am trying....a follower....How many times am I guilty of judging others for something that I have done and been guilty of myself...ouch...how many times do I want to compare....ouch....When Jesus says "Follow me" that is what he means..now...do not put your hand on the plow and look back...to take up our cross daily...daily...
you cannot carry a cross without suffering....

There is so much and so little time...where do I put my energy and thoughts....on heavenly things or earthly things.....

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a backbone...want to please....don't want to be a people pleaser want to be a God pleaser..Sometimes I feel cluttered......don't want to...let it go....eat some caramels...but then I gain weight don't want that either...

The year is drawing to an end quickly...seems like life is passing so quickly...not much time, but God will give just enough time...to accomplish His plan for my life...so I just want to step aside and let Him..and keep my hands out of the caramels!!!!

On my heart.....

Today in church Pastor was preaching on the ways of the world...not giving into fleshly desires.
He used a lot of illustrations, what are the ways of our culture that try to draw us in..what temptations draw us away from our focus on God..commercials on TV are really geared for this.

There are a lot. The day can start off and you feel like you can handle anything that comes your way because you have just been on your knees in prayer or just read some very inspiring devotional book and it seems like nothing can take our attention away from our Holy God and bam....before I even get down my steps some thought or something has already caused me to become anxious, fearful, dreadful..you get the picture...failure...

Then we must get back up and look upward.

The pastor said today many examples of this world pulling at us but one of the ones that is so powerfully strong I feel like is PRIDE,,,

Look what I can do....I would never do that...our looks, our education, our home, our car, our clothes..on and on...watch me..I can jump higher then you..I am faster, I am more patient,  boasting what we have does not come from the Father but from the world.

There are a lot of different areas of pride. I think a lot of people look at us Christians watching what we do and really a lot of our sin can be in our hearts. God looks at the heart....Man looks on the outside. Most of the time we can take so much time taking care of our outside we forget the most important thing we need to take care of is our heart.....our thoughts....our words.....

Roman 12:1&2....I beseech you therefore brethren by the mercies of God that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God which is your reasonable service.
2: And be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. KJ.

God has showered His blessing on me lately...He gives us so many opportunities to serve Him.
That is what we as Christians are called to do to serve Him...not to be served....I want to have a servant heart.. As David wrote in the Psalms "Create in me a pure heart....

Nervous Nellie...

I am a nervous nellie when it comes to storms...especially tornados..now I know I do not stand alone in this fear..mine is just very...well....out there. I become very anxious....I can become very quiet...because I don't know exactly how to handle my fear with it....because I know that it is all in God's hands anyway...I just can't comprehend the thought of losing my home...or worse yet a member of my family....I wanted to crawl in my mom's lap last Saturday because she used to make me feel secure in her arms when I was a little girl....

I know there are a lot of little ones still like that....in Mom and Dad's bed....snuggling up to them..I spent many of stormy nights in my mom's bed....oh the comfort...I got being there...and really, what could she have done if a big one would have hit....

I thought that when I surrendered my life to Christ that maybe some of my big fears would go away...and some have...but I want to snuggle up in God's arms of safety when things here on earth get bumpy....I want security....I want protection...and He did protect last Saturday....I pray for those that got hit...and lost loved ones...I do....but in return I want to THANK HIM for answered prayers....praying for protection of my  loved ones...and my home...we were gone and He watched over.....prayer....prayer....Thank you Father...I want Him to know that I am thankful...and I do not take it for granted when our prayers are answered...

There is a song we sing....Everett and I.....In the Shelter of His Arms.....

There is peace in the times of trouble,
There is peace in the midst of the storm....
There is peace when the world seems raging
In the Shelter of His Arms.....

Passing from this life to the next...

Today is Good Friday, the day we set aside to ponder and let our thoughts drift back to what it much have been like over 2000 years ago....when Jesus was crucified...innocent of all wrong...completely sinless and yet they found Him quilty...I have thought about that the last couple of days and what it must have been like for Him to take all the sin of all the world ever...upon himself .....oh the pain He must have bore...I thought of how painful it is when I stub my toe, hammer my finger, a tooth ache...so much pain and yet it is nothing compared to what our Savior went through....I want to thank you Jesus...for taking my sins...that I may have ever lasting life....and you didn't stay in the grave...you arose....and I too, will not stay in the grave...because of what you did for me......

Today...Good Friday.....2012.....another soul left this earth and went into eternity.....my son-in-law's father Bon Walker....I remember the first time I met him almost 30 years ago....he was painting a house..that's what he did he was a painter...We would aways be together for our Grandchildren's birthday parties...Abby, Annie and Abe....every year....the day our first granddaughter was born...Bon and I were both at the hospital...when our Abby was born we stood by the window of the nursery and both of us argured about who she looked like ....I said my side of the family and he said no she was a Walker all the way through...made me mad....she look like the Boese's...... But you know today she is a beautiful Abby a mix with both of us....

We went to see Bon on Monday..at Cedars...so glad we did...he talked to us yet...he will be missed....